I need crying lessons. I don't know how to cry. I don't cry like the doyennes in the movies. My cries are blubbery, snotty, croaky things. I gag and cough. My blood presses against my head. My face hurts. My eyes burn. My tummy flip-flops. Even after sleep I'm still a wreck. My body is rubber. My brain just aches. My throat is raw. I need a more sustainable solution.