13 Going on 30 Redux; or: Happy Girls Don't Do Careers

So last night I saw 13 Going on 30 on DVD, and while I enjoyed it, the movie left me in something of a funk. It took me a little while to figure out why. After all, the movie was funny, Jennifer Garner was really terrific -- what a shock that this is her first big comedic leading role in a feature! -- and the tone at the conclusion was uplifting. But I was just ticked off after the movie.

And then it hit me.

The really schmaltzy, supposedly romantic ending. That's what did it. That's what made the movie utterly depressing. Not because it was romantic, but, well....

Okay, here's the obligatory spoilers warning, for those of you who might want to spend the 5 bucks for the bargain DVD and check it out....

13 Going on 30 promo still
The movie goes fine, all the way through the sometimes very funny learning curve the now-30 year old "Jenna" has in catching up to her fabulously successful fashion magazine career, and continues on fairly solid light comedy footing all the way up through the point where Mark Ruffalo's character, "Matt," turns Jenna down and marries the other girl. They were childhood pals until the moment Jenna jumped from 13 to 30 years old. Apparently in the intervening years, Jenna had become a total bitch liar and backstabber, and Mark couldn't forget.

"I've moved on," he says. And for the movie, it's a powerful moment.

It's after this that the movie turns south. Jenna goes outside and in tears wishes herself back to 13 years old. She stays buddies with young Matt, and then 17 years later they get married and move into their pretty suburban house.

And I'm sorry, but that is just total bulloney. Or at least that's the part that I found so depressing!

After all, in life there are no do-overs. Sure, it's nice that Jenna gets to do over her life, but the real empowering ending would have been to see her move on, and rebuild her life despite the mistakes made in the past.

As it is, the movie gives the lesson that (a) a woman cannot succeed in a career without being a conniving witch, (b) if a nice girl slips through, she's backstabbed by some other conniving witch of a career woman, and (c) the only happy path for a woman is to never have gone into a career and instead stayed the sweet girl and married the childhood sweetheart.

The Devil Wears Prada smacks of a similar kind of message, though the movie (unlike the book) has the good grace to end on a little ambiguity as to whether our heroine really does choose her loser, jealous, spiteful boyfriend and other so-called friends over the career she's dreamed for. (Prada deserves a post of its own. Hopefully I can someday.)

What about the woman who wakes up to the awful life she's living, and remakes her life without ditching the career, without running to the boy, without flashing back to June Cleaver's kitchen?

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Laura Scott is President of pingVision.

Comments

I never thought of it that way...

You know, I loved that movie so much that I bought it. The movie and the message. It's what every girl wants - the fantasy. But you're absolutely right! We do need some sappy movies that end with the woman being strong and not living happily ever after with the boy, the house and the white picket fence. Thanks for the clarity!

What about happily ever after

...after dealing with the mistakes? This movie was saying, "Life can be great, if you didn't make those mistakes back then. Too bad you're not living in a movie!"

It really would have been more empowering and romantic if she got her sh*t together and made her life good again, at 30. After all, isn't that the message? That childhood dreams can be childish dreams, and not lead to the vision of life imagined? That many of us "wake up" at 30 or whatever and realize, WTF??? What did I do that for?

Double Standard

Two other films come to mind where the characters have dubious morality and/or heartlessness with romance swirling around is Working Girl, and The Family Man.

Some spoilers, here, too, though the films are 18 and 7 years old -- pre 9/11 with WTC part of the action in Working Girl.

In Working Girl, the female lead gets to have a career and leaves the loser boyfriend for Harrison Ford and a career in Mergers & Acquisitions.

In The Family Man, Nicholas Cage sees what might have been and does not end up in the alternative reality, but comes back to the real world and catches Téa Leoni when she's about to leave for Europe and we're left not knowing if they'll get it together.

In both cases the main romantic interest gets her man and gets to succeed. In both cases the male lead is not a loser.

It is probably the grist for another post as to why there is a message that girls must lower their standards so they can be with boys who are not as successful as the girl. In 13 Going on 30, it is not as obvious as in Prada, but it is there.

I recall growing up in pre-Women's Movement America and having mom say, "if a girl is in a game, such a tennis, she must make sure she loses to the man without it looking like she did it on purpose."

Seems that lesson is alive and well and gaining resurgence in modern day films.

The film team wanted the

The film team wanted the ending to be Matt marrying Wendy according to the DVD commentary by Mark Waters, the director, and a comment by Mark Ruffalo, who played Matt. The studio nixxed that. Don't know what the alternative ending for Jenna would have been - maybe removing her image from the play house and smashing it to smitherines and taking the Fashion Suicide idea to save her career and Poise(n). One of my favorite parts of the film is how Matt wrestles to remain faithful to Wendy - wish he could had made it to the end.

On the DVD, there was an

On the DVD, there was an alternative ending they shot which was equally non-thrilling. It still ends with the idea that career and romance are mutually exclusive, and that women in careers must needs be evil. What price romance?