At first blush, since only 20 people read this blog on a good day, I should feel safe writing about my jitters about going to and speaking at BlogHer -- not to mention the plane ride, which always can give me the jitters (and being treated like cargo by the airlines doesn't help) -- right? Of course, since many women have said they're "reading up" on as many blogs as possible, maybe more than 20 will read this. I know that if I don't tag this post with the Drupal tag, the traffic will be lower than otherwise, which is good....

...And so it goes: The kind of crazy neurotic ramblings in my mind when I get jittery.

So maybe it will help if I just write what I'm jittery about, so I can see just how silly it is and laugh and find a reason not to worry about it and, maybe, lose some of the jitters.


What I'm jittery about Why I shouldn't be jittery about it
Speaking. I get stage fright jitters. Nobody please shake my hand within one hour of the Deeply Geeky panel I'm on a panel, so I won't be alone up there. And it's really an unpanel, so really, the pressure's off, at least in theory.
Hair. I'm in desperate need of at least a trim, but my stylist retired (omg) two years ago and I'd been doing the "Mom, could you please trim my hair?" thing (supplemented with taking the cuticle scissors to my bangs maybe a few too many times), so I don't know where to go. Since I haven't done the highlights thing in a while, my hair is at least in decent condition, and the gray coming in is silvery enough to look like highlights, right? So all I need is a trim, and that's not rocket science. I'll just have to table Meryl's Prada look for the fall. Maybe.
Toes. Now, I realize that for a "deeply geeky" techie designer, I probably should not even have my toes on this list, but I don't think I can get away with my muddy Keds that are so stained, not even bleach will whiten them, and besides, they won't go with what I think I'm going to wear, and.... I'll feel better after a pedicure.
Shoes. See above. And I have a high arch, so it's always hard for me to find shoes that fit. I'm finding myself victim of my always-at-the-computer work life, so of course, of the two dozen pairs of shoes I have that are not in storage, none of them will do. DSW.
Loneliness. The only people I'll know there are Lisa, Elisa and Jory, and they'll be quite busy, and I'm terrible at meeting new people and doing the whole schmoozing thing. (Ugh!) And my business partner, Kate, can't go so I'll be one my own. The women online seem nice.
Clothes. As in most of my clothes that aren't sweats are jackets and slacks. Poolside lunch? I'm somewhat resigned to just being hot. A little sweat never hurt anybody, unless it gets in the way of looking good.
Flying. I. Just. Hate. It. The indignity. The hassle. The images of scenes from 'Lost' flashing before my eyes. Maybe I can just sleep through it.
Work. I always stress about work, unless I'm lost in work. It's a bad habit, I know, but there it is. I'll be working at the conference. Maybe I can sneak in some enjoyment without my noticing!

I'm really looking forward to it!